Updated: Dec 22, 2020
Today as I write this, it's Sunday morning 12/20/20, and before I get into the medicine and wisdom of the spider, I want to acknowledge the synchronistic numerology. As I re-acquainted myself with these sacred numbers, I was blown away! Initially I was just looking at the powerful 222, which is all about balance, manifesting miracles, auspicious and timely opportunities and harmony; which ironically is much of what I wanted to speak on today. Then I decided to add the numbers and I was taken aback, even more so! How could I forget all about the powerful number seven, my life path number! The number seven is all about intuition, mysticism, inner wisdom, and it's a sign you are on the right path, more specifically being on a spiritual path; hence here I am a devoted and obsessed spiritual nerd lol. Number seven is all about spirituality and the connection/ bridge to Spirit/ Source/ The Universe and/or Divine (whatever you want to call it). More importantly, it's about your spiritual connection: the wisdom and knowing from your higher self, which again basically is what I intended to write about, how synchronistic is that?? What's even more crazy, if you dive deeper into the meaning of number seven, you will stumble upon the fact, that it's probably one of the most significant numbers mentioned in the bible. The reason I bring that up, as I have been addressing repeatedly on my social media lately, we are in high and intense times (energetically speaking), moving into a new way of life and archetypal energy. Many can say and argue we are in "end times" like spoken about in the book of Revelation. In the book of Revelation, the last and 22nd chapter, (there goes those 2's again, I'm literally tripping out ) the number seven is mentioned several times. There are seven churches, seven angles, seven seals, seven trumpets, and seven stars. I literally can say so much about that in itself. Leading into now, around the full moon in Gemini, we were and still being called to take action, on whatever it is from a deep soul calling with the sound of the trumpet in the Judgment card and Archangel Gabriel in the card sounding the alarm for us to come. You can say 2020 was the year of the seven seals with all the trials and tribulations we all have gone through as a collective, and the church well that's us coming back to ourselves and aligning with our spiritual and Higher self. Lastly, the symbology of the stars, oh my favorite, I love getting lost in my thoughts and imagination looking up to the sky! Much of our wisdom and inner knowing comes from above. We are made of light, and as the saying goes: as above so below; and that couldn't be any more true with momentous intensity coming from the planets above deeply affecting us, hence The Great Conjunction (you I couldn't go without mentioning that)! Now all that crazy and mind blowing numerology put aside, I mentioned the full moon in Gemini earlier. I received a lot of downloads and transmissions starting around that time, which has kind of been non-stop since then. One of the downloads I received was about the deep symbology of the spider spirit, and more specifically in context to the scattered scary spider energy as they called it (such a tongue twister). For me specifically my mind has been anxious and all over the place, with a lot of energy because of these downloads I've been receiving. And recently, this past week I feel like I balanced this up and down of upheaval energy. So that being said I want to share some of this wisdom that I received. I know a lot of us are feeling this intense and angsty energy, and I can so relate to it being a job, getting this under control. The keyword words I've recently come to realize is, not getting our humanness tendencies "under control," but rather in balance with our Spirit and Higher (still crazy how the numerology I mentioned above directly correlates to this message). As humans, we want to bad so get everything under control, because we were taught that, it's systematically ingrained in us. As I mentioned in my last IGTV we are separating away from the cycle of the highly patriarchal society we have been living in for so long. And although the energy is intense and fast, to eliminate a way of life that has been beaten into us for so long, takes a little time, patience, compassion, and with the utmost surrender. In the Judgment card, the naked people who have recently come from a death, standing in their open coffins, with their naked bare skin, are with their arms wide open to receive the call from above with Archangel Gabriel trumpeting the message. After this death of being in our old lives, we have to be raw, authentic, vulnerable and comfortable with shedding away the many layers off, for our renewed life; completely vulnerable with our naked skin and true authentic selves. In this vulnerability and truth, then and only then can we truly move on with peace in our hearts in order to receive. So like the message and symbology my guides gave me with the little scattered, scary spider, we have to uncover some truths.
Most of us are still or have been in this energy because there was an aspect or aspects of ourselves we felt that needed the validation from others. When they showed me the message of the scattered and scary little spider they showed me the spider's need to be seen for all of its efforts. Spiders in real life are actually really helpful creatures, because they help kill off pests like flies or gnats. The spider in my vision, wanted the people in the home to see and let them know it was doing all the work in riding all these annoying bugs. Instead of the family appreciating this gesture and display, they got scared and tried to kill off the poor little spider. The spider kept trying, building bigger and more visible webs for them to see the trapped flies; peeking every out once in a while, but instead each time the people in the home became more frustrated, angry and scared every time they saw the spider and her webs. So eventually, feeling low and stripped of love and joy the spider went into hiding. She picked a far out dark corner for her and her webs, and would only come out when she knew it was safe. Eventually the spider became bigger and more hearty with all her undisturbed meals, even her webs became stronger, thicker, bigger and more expansive like herself. Then one day, alone in her web in her perfectly undisturbed corner, she was watching the people from afar. She was a little sad she couldn't join the fun, because the family in the home seemed so happy, but then she heard the greatest news. The little girl with her teddy in her hand, went running up to her parents ecstatic, yelling "mommy, daddy, guess what?!" The father picked up his daughter into his arms, with his wife beside him, and love beaming from all their eyes. "What is it baby," the mother said, the little girl replied "I have no more bug bites, all the mosquitos are gone!" The father then said, "maybe it was that spider that kept poking around, and found it's little nesting place." The not so little spider anymore, grew so excited with love and tears in her eyes. Suddenly she realized, the family may not have loved her like she had hoped, but she was appreciated, and didn't have to do it for them all along. Although she was proud to see the family happy and noticing her work, she actually stopped doing it for them. At the time, with all her hunts and prey, she didn't do it with the intent of hoping maybe someday they will notice, love and appreciate her soon. She actually started feeding for herself, and though it was lonely at first, she started to cherish her alone time in her dark little corner. She started to appreciate all the things she did instead, many times she would sit and marvel at her expansive and intricate web. Whenever she caught a fly she would tell herself, "look at me, look how swift and smart I am tricking flies as they come by!" So when the family left the room, she was hit with a wave of epiphanies. She said to herself, "maybe my job wasn't to kill all the flies, fleas and mosquitos for anyone but me!" And with this full circle of epiphanies myself, finally understanding fully the medicine of the spider spirit, I too have realized this with in me. I have wasted so much of myself and my time wishing I would be seen, validated and appreciated by others, and each time my self esteem took a beating. It hasn't been till recently, that not only do I mentally know, but at a soul level, I know my worth and value isn't measured by the perception of others, but rather by the perception of myself! Just like the little spider I have spent some time alone, in my little corner, but in that time I have cultivated a new outlook of my being and sense of self. True, I'm naturally an introvert and spend a lot of time alone like the spider, but recently, I have truly been only with myself since my roommate left for the holidays to be with her family. And in this alone time, with many ups and downs, I feel like I have a stronger foundation and sense of purpose for myself. I no longer try to share my work in hopes of getting some sort of recognition, but rather now I share from my heart, with my spirit high and my soul giving from an authentic place of service. Since September I have spent a lot of time alone on and of for long periods of time, and in that time, it has been a struggle no longer identifying with my life-long crippling anxiety and depression. For such a long time, I looked to outside sources and people for validation and worth, and through many hard lessons, in the past three years with my Saturn return, that cycle in my life has finally come to an end. It wasn't till I cultivated this practice within myself, that I truly came to understand the message in that spider vision. You see I have been wanting to share that story of the scattered, scary little spider in my vision for a while, but I didn't see and understand the full story until literally this past week. The visions I received in this story came in bits and pieces in dreams and visions in my mediations and sleep. The first flux of the messages just came from hearing them say "scattered, scary little spider," as I struggled to concentrate while meditating one day. And I knew when I heard them say it, it had to do with my monkey brain, but every time I tried to write about it or put this message into actions and words, I was distracted. I was pulled away by my mind boggling thoughts of unworthiness in my lonely, depressed energy, and once I realized that, it all just hit me like a ton of bricks! So then, I decided to dig deeper into the powerful symbology of the spider spirit, and thus my epiphany came to full circle with my intrinsic and expansive brain! Now, lets dig a little deeper into the meaning of this beautiful creature, and oh by the why when I read and researched on the spider, I did find the spiritual meaning of arachnophobia. When any type of fear comes up, it's our soul trying to tell us that thing needs our attention. In this fear there is an aspect of us in this thing, whether it comes up as a message in the form of and animal, like the spider, or a person and people in our relationships. What part of you are you hiding, what aspect of your soul are you denying from fear? Ask yourself these questions with compassion and curiosity, and I urge you to journal on this, if you feel like anything is holding you back. Now onto the powerful Spider Spirit Animal.. As you probably may have realized, I referred to the spider as she. The spider spirit is typical seen more as feminine energy, for her creativity and ability to create so much life. Spiders can lay anywhere between 2 to 1,000 eggs, depending on the species, that is so much life the mighty spider can create, and she tells us we too can create an abundance of life in all of our creative endeavors! Spiders are known for their intricate and beautiful webs, which by the way they use to protect their eggs. So like the spider mommy, just because we can create and bring life to so many ideas, they too need some protection at first on a soul level to be fully recognized; to cultivate and fully realized into their potential, like the story I shared myself. The spider doesn't chase her prey, she builds her beautiful web and waits for the right moment to attack. Like I said earlier we are leaving behind the old way of the wounded and aggressive patriarchal societal way of thinking. You do not and no longer need to chase or force you dreams! Just like in my vision in the story of the spider, when we do so, especially coming from an empty place, we chase away what we want and what we think is ours. We have wait for our moment in cultivating a strong web for ourselves, before we can go out in getting what we desire. That's not to say we become lazy and only let the universe do the work, the spider does her part, and doesn't question her isolation, she knows it is necessary before her web can handle the weight of another. In retrospect as much as we desire relationships, friends and family at this socially isolating time, we have to ask ourselves what is this pandemic teaching me? In what ways can I learn to take care of these needs myself, and before you know it, a fly will come by just as you finished building your web. Some of us the wait might be a little longer, and that's okay too! That doesn't mean you are any less worthy, nor do you have to go and compare yourselves to others, and if you do, that's just further indication that healing is still required to build a bigger and stronger web for yourself. The spider teaches us patience because it requires time and dedication to build the web of our souls, whatever that might mean for you. Each and every web is unique to the spider, just like with us, our soul's creativity is unique to us, and there's no sense in comparing our webs. Those that take the most time and pride building themselves up, become the most inspiring people. It's not how fast it takes to build yourself or your ideas up, but the attention and dedication it took, is what makes people say wow!
That dark time you spend alone, whether it was your dark night of the soul, or just a dark time, its medicine and healing is for you to search within, and rely on no one else but yourself! The mommy spider is super protective of her babies, and she is a badass that scare of humans more than twice her size! You don't need to be as big or loud as someone else, your tenacity may seem smaller, but just the fact that you don't need to show off more to get your message across, speaks volumes in itself! I too have recently come to realize this myself, with all these people out of nowhere making it big and gaining popularity in the spiritual community. For months I hid away thinking I don't have what it takes because I'm not as outgoing or flamboyant as some of these people. But then something in me was like, fuck that shit!! You have come too far just to give up, although you may not be as loud or flashy; your energy is deep, powerful, poetic mystical, mysterious and alluring! It's like when your man walks by slapping that ass, it comes out of nowhere, it's bad in a good way, but you like it, even if you don't admit with that mischievous smirk on your face.... that's fucking me and I'm proud of it!!! I don't need to change me or my energy, because basically everyone likes a good slap to the ass, and if they don't that's okay, they just ain't my peeps! And yes right now we are in a void space, not knowing the future, or when this pandemic will end, but that uncertainty is asking us to surrender to the unknown. Being in this void space is divine and feminine in nature, because the feminine doesn't question when or how she will receive answers, but receptive and in gratitude for when the time comes (just like the spider with her prey). We are embarking on the journey of the fool, coming to terms with who and all that we are. The fool doesn't plan his path, but rather is led by curiosity and instincts. When we let go of our need to control, realizing if nothing us else, 2020 has taught us we don't always have the control, and that's not the purpose of life! Our purpose is finding our purpose, finding what lights up our soul, and moving from this self accepting and loving place. Then things will start to align, and the fool is led by bread crumbs to the sunshine the over his head, standing over the cliff. If we don't open up to this journey with a curious heart, we might have to go through ugly, tough, and scary terrain that on the outside seemed fine, when following someone else. Again, your journey, your web, is yours alone! So be flexible, expansive and willing to receive like weaving the web of your life, because one day without knowing you might get that treat you've been waiting for! Remember it takes a BALANCE in this self dedication, surrender to Spirit and the unknown, but soon you will be pleasantly surprised!!! I love you all so very much, I hope you enjoyed this read and I'll talk to you soon! Don't be shy to share this with someone special, and very soon I'm going to be sharing more gifts! Have a great and amazing day, and I wish you and your loved ones many blessings. Happy Holidays, Con Mucho Amor y Cariño! Angelia Santiago